How to stop feeling powerless over food
Do you feel powerless over food?
Would you love to be able to feel in control over food ? So you feel you have the power to say No and not be left with cravings or the feeling that you are missing out?
So many people feel this way.
They have overwhelming urge to eat or to binge. The urge is so strong, so compelling that your inner voice does not quieten down until you have binged.
Afterwards you feel shame, and embarrassment but also this perception of powerlessness.
I hear you say – Why can’t I resist? Why can’t I have more willpower? and it’s understandable why you would feel powerless over food.
It is possible to gain control around food. Before diving into the how, it is useful to explore your behaviors around food and why the powerlessness over food exists, to be able to undo it.
Are you a food addict?
Do you feel you have this obsession with food? You can’t stop thinking about it?
The definition of addiction is becoming dependent on a substance and over time you need more and more of it to get the same hit. Or that using the substance puts you in danger.
Food addiction is not classified as an addiction in the DSM5 (Diagnostical statistical Manual of Mental health disorders, version 5) but that does not mean you don’t experience some of the symptoms of food addiction such as: Using more of a substance than intended. Or trying to cut down or stop using a substance but being able to.
Food addicts usually describe having a food obsession over types of food, mainly junk food like chocolate or crisps. You may experience compulsive eating with that food but not all foods. You probably experience food cravings for that particular food but not all food.
Further reading
The 12 step programme for food addiction
How to break your sugar addiction in 5 easy steps
What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is the process of using food to cope or not have to unconsciously feel negative emotions. You might have a poor relationship with food where you do not eat when hungry, rather you eat when you are bored or stressed or another emotion.
Or you may experience compulsive overeating, where you can’t stop eating once you are full. You may experience constant overeating, where you pick at food throughout the day. Your eating is disordered because you recognise you use food as a comfort, it makes you feel better for that moment of eating it.
Further reading
How to manage your emotions without food
What is Binge Eating?
Binge Eating is the process of eating large amounts of food in a very short space of time. The eating is usually very rapid, in a frenzied state. It feels like you have no control over the amount you are eating.
Besides the binge eating, you may experience eating normal healthy meals. During the binge, is when you may feel this powerlessness feeling. It is like a compelling urge takes over that you just have no control over. This is why it is also labelled a compulsive food behavior.
To compensate for the binge eating, a period of restriction of food intake follows the binge. The binge eating is also followed by difficult feelings such as shame and or guilt.
Further Reading
Binge Eating, vs Food addiction, the differences
What is underneath the powerlessness over food?
Understanding what is behind the feeling of powerlessness over food will help you to gain your power back. It is about understanding the psychology behind your food obsession. Rather than finding a quick fix, start looking at why your compulsive overeating is there. What are the reasons you may crave junk food and what alternatives to food can you find to help you manage the uncomfortable emotions that are driving this. Here is where you can start.
Control around food
To start gaining control around food, you need to practise mindfulness. Being mindful doesn’t mean trying to stop eating certain types of food, rather it is paying attention to your behaviours around food. It is also noticing your thoughts and emotions around eating and food.
You are noticing any irrational food behaviors, not judging them but just noticing them. What is disordered about your eating? What is irregular about your hunger? Do you feel hungry or do you not let yourself ever feel hungry?
Addictive process
Using your new powers of awareness/mindfulness. Bring this into what triggers your compulsive eating. The addictive process is a cycle where it kicks off with a trigger. Then you have food cravings, then the acting out happens, that is the irrational eating of some kind, it could be the compulsive eating where you can’t resist eating certain foods or could be binge eating, notice what it is for you?
After the compulsive eating there comes negative feelings such as guilt and shame. This can feel crippling and debilitating and just feels a difficult time.
In a bid to get control around food back we often put ourselves on a food plan which typically is a restriction of food intake.
This can feel good for a while. We feel in control around food again and this gives us positive feelings.
However they do not last long because life happens and something happens that triggers us again and we are back to the beginning of the cycle.
Behaviours around Food
Now you can see your behaviours around food, it can lead you to looking deeper into your thoughts and emotions around food.
This deeper work can be harder to do on our own because we cannot see into our own unconscious.
Overeaters anonymous and alcoholics anonymous encourage the concept of abstinence. The definition of abstinence is to refrain from the action of compulsive eating whilst working towards maintaining a healthy weight. The advice is great, but not so easy to do on your own or without support.
Though we can learn something from abstaining not completely but for a short while. When you feel the urge to eat coming on, or you see some food and you can’t resist. Follow these short steps.
Positive Steps for the recovery process
- Take a deep breath.
- walk away just for a moment
- Ask, what do I really want now? and, or why do I want this food? Am I hungry?
- Try to get into the emotions of what you think the food will give you. Go past the taste, will it make you feel good?
- If so, what other way can you get the positive emotions you are looking for?
- This last point may take some time and thought put into it. But in the meantime it will be helpful to start delving in and asking enquiring questions.
- If you find you can’t resist and do indulge, don’t beat yourself up for your perceived lack of control around food, or for the kinds of foods you have just eaten. This is going to make you feel worse and your focus will be on your perceived irrational behaviours. Instead how can you again, take a deep breath and say it’s going to be ok. You are working through what’s behind this. You are working on yourself. This is not forever and with a little enquiry and work this will pass and you are on your way to healing.
- Notice, the feeling of powerless over food, is a perception of powerlessness. This does not mean to say it is not real, but more a thought or feeling that can be changed. You could start noticing more positive feelings around food. Notice the times when you feel you have power over food, you do have control around food. You may be noticing the negative experiences and not the times when you do have in-control eating.
- Give yourself some love and support, like you would a friend.
Evidence based Treatments
If you have tried many routes and you still feel powerless over food, it may help to talk to a health care professional. This would be someone who understands what you are going through and can give you the advice and support you need.
Psychotherapist.
A psychotherapist or counsellor, ideally someone who has experience of eating disorders can help you to get into your unconscious and find out what is keeping you stuck in a loop of your present day behaviors around food.
It can be so frustrating when you are trying everything and you can’t see why you keep repeating the same eating patters.
Therapists will often now provide an online therapy service as well as an in-person meeting.
A therapist will use a range of techniques from talking therapy to using cognitive-behavioral therapy, which is addressing the negative thoughts and feelings and turning them into positive feelings.
They will help you to address any other mental health challenges that you could be experiences either due to your relationship with food, or that could be contributing to the feeling of powerlessness over food.
The feeling of powerless over food may well be present in other areas of your life, so they will help you to feel empowered within yourself.
Dietician
A dietician will look at your diet and could help you to put together an individual food plan to ensure you are getting the right nutrients.
They might suggest changes in the kinds of foods you are eating, to include more protein for example.
They would be able to address areas of restriction of food intake and suggest foods that keep your blood sugar level so you do not a spike that causes an instatiable appetite and will help you to maintain a healthy body weight.
Further Reading
Binge Eating Therapy, which psychological therapy is best for you
How does weight loss therapy work
Overcoming your powerlessness over food
Keep going. It will be hard at times, frustrating at times but if you keep doing the work your compulsive food behavior will change, and you will be able to regain your control around food.
Other places of help
Beat, Eating disorder charity – BEAT, UK
National Eating Disorders Association, NEDA, US
National Centres for Eating Disorders, NCDE, UK
Overeaters Anonymous, OA, UK
